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Image by Evan Aeschlimann
World domination
- Amazon is promising Europe a sovereign cloud to meet the government requirements of EU companies. “Euro Cloud” has a mullet and wears acid wash jeans and is going to the discothèque like those people on the front of my old French textbook. And they have cigarettes for breakfast, all sovereign-like.
- Microsoft is going to invest billions to expand its Mt. Pleasant data center in Wisconsin. And the company has bought 300 acres (and jobs) in Licking County. People with dry tongues need not apply.
- When in Rome, build a data center. At least that’s the current motto at Microsoft. But this is Rome, Georgia, so put those pizza and spaghetti dreams away. Instead, you can dive into the local news, which is basically just obituaries, people stealing random shit, and an article about wild turkeys on the loose. God I love local news.
- The three big cloud providers are investing almost $9B in Thailand, with AWS building a $5B data center there over the next 15 years. Do you know how much pad thai you can buy with $9B? NOT ENOUGH. THAT’S HOW MUCH.
- And Malaysia will be the next cloud region for AWS, following the opening of its Kuala Lumpur office.
- One of China’s largest tech companies, Alibaba, has launched its own AI model in a bid to compete with AWS and Microsoft. It released its GenAI Service Platform which can be designed for industry-specific applications.
Gossip (for nerds)
- Consider this your warning that our robot overlords are closer than they’ve ever been. I, your loyal tech news troubadour, joins others in wanting to know exactly what the board at OpenAI saw that scared the shit out of them. Let me backtrack: It’s been one year since ChatGPT hit the scene, and after showing an AI breakthrough to OpenAI’s board, co-founder Sam Altman was abruptly ousted from the company over concerns about safety and regulations regarding this yet-to-be released evolution (called Q* or “Q Star”). Insiders say Altman didn’t want any power checks on him. Microsoft immediately snapped Altman up, prompting analysts to speculate that this “poker move” added $63B to Microsoft’s value. But WOMP WOMP a day later Altman went back to OpenAI, burning that bridge so badly there aren’t even ashes to show for it. Altman returned on the promise that a new board would be formed, potentially quelling an impending “all-out employee revolt.” Anyway, we’re all gonna die.
- It’s a good thing Q* is distracting from what’s happening with AI at AWS. Amazon’s Artificial Intelligence Group (AIG) is “undergoing a significant restructuring” only four months after its inception. The department is now divided among six focus areas, according to a leaked email.
- AND to compete with ChatGPT, Amazon is developing Olympus. But it’s super-secret.
- After Google Cloud revenue came in below expectations, Alphabet stock fell almost 10%, marking its worst day since March 2020. It’s because Bing is wildly successful and rapidly stealing all the traffic. Just kidding, nobody uses Bing. Still.
Wheelin’ and dealin’
- Hyundai has selected AWS as its cloud provider, so now Amazon is going to sell Hyundai cars. Does that come with Prime one-day delivery? If I don’t like it, do I return it at Whole Foods? If I’m not home when it arrives, will you just take a picture of an ENTIRE CAR PARKED ON MY FRONT STEP? We’ve entered a whole new era of regrettable drunk Amazon purchases.
- AWS, Microsoft, Google, and Oracle—among other notable tech companies—are creating a framework that will make cloud spend more transparent. Their first idea was to wrap cellophane around it but, no dice.
- AI observability company WhyLabs has partnered with AWS to let shared customers switch to observability for AI apps through WhyLabs on AWS.
- The SAP HANA cloud now supports AWS Graviton processors.
- SnapLogic is collaborating with AWS to offer SnapGPT, a generative AI integration that will assist with data management.
- Infosys and AWS are partnering in a joint go-to-market push to accelerate cloud adoption across the EMEA region, in particular to financial organizations.
- Quantiphi has entered a strategic collaboration with AWS to use AWS generative AI tools, such as Bedrock and SageMaker, to power a generative AI platform for knowledge workers. Have you ever met somebody who said “I’m a knowledge worker”? Me neither. If you did, would you remain in the conversation? Me neither.
- NetApp is extending its alliance (is this the UN?) with Microsoft to include tools for deploying workloads, improving performance, and reducing costs using ML.
New stuff
- AWS has launched a generative AI app builder for consumers called PartyRock. I wanna go to PartyRock! It sounds like a bunch of people dancing on boulders and I wanna be there. Or it could just be another name for meth. I don’t want THAT PartyRock. Anyway, it lets you build generative AI applications without any software experience. It’s “for entertainment purposes only”…I bet.
- Did Microsoft pray to the gods of confused marketing with this? Spend hundreds of dollars for the Willy Wonka edition Xbox and get a…chocolate game controller. That doesn’t work.
- Teams is getting crowded. New AI-powered features will allow the easily amused masses to decorate their Teams backgrounds. It will clean up the clutter in your background, and even add some seasonal objects and plants so you can go full-out white woman’s Instagram.
- Let us revel in cups that overfloweth with chips. Following a global chip shortage, Microsoft has built its own custom AI chips, Maia 100 and Cobalt 100, hopefully breaking reliance on NVIDIA. Microsoft is also working with Synopsys, which is using Copilot to help with designing computer chips.
- But NVIDIA and Microsoft are still bros. NVIDIA launched a generative AI foundry service on Azure, which will help businesses build custom language learning models (LLMs).
- Now generally available is Microsoft Fabric, an end-to-end SaaS analytics platform.
- AWS now offers EC2 capacity blocks for ML.
- Microsoft could generate $10B a year by 2026 with its 365 Copilot AI add-on. It has also updated Windows 11 to have Copilot.
- And it unveiled a Copilot-based unified security solution, which combines Defender XDR, Microsoft Sentinel, and the Security Copilot chatbot.
- Copilot is in so many places I’m awaiting news that it now raises your children. Microsoft’s GitHub is offering a paid enterprise service tier that will assist developers’ work on internal source code.
- MORE COPILOT…YOU CAN’T ESCAPE!! Siemens and Microsoft have co-developed Industrial Copilot to improve human-machine collaboration in manufacturing.
- Want some AI skillzzzz? you can sign up for AI Ready, a series of eight free courses from AWS.
Best Friends Forever
- BP will use Microsoft Copilot to continue destroying the planet.
- Schneider Electric is integrating Microsoft Azure OpenAI to generate code and text.
- MongoDB and AWS are collaborating to optimize Amazon CodeWhisperer for applications built on MongoDB.
- Spend management platform Ramp has integrated Copilot into its offerings.
- Cohesity is working with Microsoft to help organizations respond to data loss in M365 faster.
- New Relic has integrated its AI Monitoring solutions with Amazon Bedrock.
- No-code business automation solution provider Pipefy is now on AWS Marketplace, along with Elastio’s Insights profile, which simplifies software risk assessment.
- Zilla security has joined the AWS ISV program and has put its solution in AWS Marketplace.
- Digital product engineering company Simform has achieved its AWS Migration Competency.
- Forethought, an AI-first customer support automation platform, has joined the AWS APN and is now available in AWS Marketplace.
- Last Yard, an in-store and omnichannel solutions provider, has achieved its AWS Retail Competency and joined the AWS ISV Accelerate Program.