Image by Evan Aeschlimann
Wheelin’ and dealin’
- Hi, welcome to weirdo upside-down world where Amazon is about to become its No. 1 competitor’s biggest customer (by a long shot). No, you are not tripping on shrooms like an Alaska Airlines pilot, this is real.
- The Mayo Clinic is testing generative AI applications with its clinical staff through Microsoft’s 365 Copilot early access program. This news comes at the same time as Microsoft’s announcement of new tools in Microsoft Fabric and Azure AI for healthcare organizations.
- Accenture and AWS have teamed up to create the Accenture AWS Business Group and the launch of Velocity, a “continuous innovation engine.”
- Microsoft has FINALLY closed the Activision Blizzard deal and I am so happy to never have to write about this again.
- World Energy, a producer of sustainable aviation fuel (that’s a thing?), signed a long-term agreement with Microsoft to….geez, the press release doesn’t even tell you, really. But if I had to read between the lines, it sounds like Microsoft will use World Energy to fuel executive private jets between Seattle and NYC. But let us never utter the term “private jet” lest the masses catch on to our tomfoolery.
World domination
- Microsoft is building a data center in Aragon, Spain, which looks like it just got added to my travel bucket list…especially because the region JUST WON THE SPANISH PIG AWARDS!!! Yes, Aragon has the best-performing pig farms, and is now holder of the “Porc d’Or” award. As published in Pig Progress Magazine. I’m serious. ::Subscribes::
- AWS is opening a development center in Nairobi to create software development and cloud support. The region has been dubbed the “Silicon Savannah,” which could also be the term for the space between two breast implants, but OK.
- In one of the biggest news events to happen in Wales is the building of a Microsoft data center. It’s located in Newport—you know Newport—the city right next to Croesymwyalch, not far from Cwmbran and Llanfrechta. Yeah, that one. Hopefully, this news doesn’t get drowned out by recent local headlines such as the reopening of a local mini supermarket and inspectors’ praise for the local nursery, Tiny Tots.
- Microsoft just laid off nearly 700 employees at LinkedIn, primarily in the engineering department. And it will now ramp up hiring in India. Classic move. Maybe that switcheroo will help them pay off the $29B they owe in back taxes. Yeah, I said it. Cash me ousside.
- India is HOT and I don’t just mean it’s 130 degrees there at night. I mean everyone wants a piece. In addition to Microsoft’s hiring spree in the world’s most populated country, the government is unveiling digital health IDs with AWS. Biometrics in government hands? I can’t see any potential issues with that.
- And India’s HCLSoftware is collaborating with AWS so customers can consume the HCLSoftware portfolio as cloud-native services/SaaS in AWS.
Ma’am, I’m going to have to call security
- AWS, Google, and Telegram have been targeted by a malware campaign that uses “typosquatting” and “starjacking,” both of which sound like martial arts moves that could mess you up. Also, I hope it happens to me just so I can say “DAMN IT, I’VE BEEN STARJACKED!!!”
- The AI technology that Microsoft has been pushing is also, apparently, helping hackers hit their victims harder.
- But don’t confuse that with the campaign that attackers are conducting on SQL Server instances. And if you’re still into SQL Server after that, then you’ll be happy about the public preview of Azure SQL Database free offering. Get hacked—for free!!
- AND Google, AWS, and Cloudflare saw the largest DDoS attack in their history. None of the articles name the hacking group, which makes me mad because I want to see how cool their name is. But anyway, Google saw 398 million requests per second, otherwise known as whenever I am trying to relax and my son is home. The DDoS graph looks like a Silicon Savannah ifyouknowwhatImean.
Gossip (for nerds)
- Satya Nadella is blaming Google for the fact that nobody uses Bing in a federal antitrust trial against Google. To get out from under Google’s hold on search, Microsoft told Apple it would pay billions to replace Google on Apple devices.
- And funny story: Bing Chat is under fire for security concerns. It’s crawling with malicious ads. It’s Google’s fault!!!
- Despite that hot mess, Microsoft posted 13% YoY sales growth in its last quarter earnings, beating expectations and adding to an overall “comeback” of tech.
- It’s a good week for anyone who owns Amazon stock, once again driven by AWS. CEO Andy Jassy says the success of AWS belongs to its work in generative AI with solutions like Amazon Bedrock. And, AWS sales went up 12% YoY.
- Sdx Central says the top three cloud providers are “battling” for the data center market. The article comes with a fantastical rendering of a city full of data centers on fire, bombarded by planes. (“Midjourney, show me a battle for data centers.”) This reminds me of those Army recruiting commercials that used to show before movies, where they made it look like if you joined you’d be fighting some superpower on a planet with three moons.
- A Microsoft VP who has been with the company for decades is now moving to Amazon, overseeing devices and services. His name is Panos Panay, which I have been repeating to myself for fun all morning. First I pretended I was a caterer at a nice event with a silver tray of apps and I ask people all fancy, “May I interest you in some Panos Panay?” and then I was offering someone advice and turned it into a Latin saying …”Well, you know what they say – Panos Panay.”
- Or maybe it will help them spend $3.2B in a “charm offensive” in Australia to push AI and cloud. Australia is currently looking to regulate AI.
New stuff
- The Microsoft Azure Incubation team has launched Radius, a platform that lets developers collaborate on building cloud-native applications. In typical Microsoft fashion, this announcement opens with a 43-word sentence.
- AWS has launched its Process Optimization solution, which uses AI and ML to provide engineers with insights on downstream and midstream operations.
- New to Microsoft Viva is Skills, which will help organizations understand workforce skills and gaps and then deliver personalized learning to close those gaps through Viva Learning.
- I hope you powerful people like getting codes by text and email because AWS is going to require highest-privilege users to complete MFA starting next year. See, this is where it’s good to be a nobody.
- Amazon DataZone has become generally available. Users can catalog, discover, share, and govern data stored across AWS, on-premises, and third-party sources.
Best Friends Forever
- Microsoft is partnering with AV provider Legrand to create a hybrid conference space for Microsoft Teams Rooms. These will be Signature Teams Rooms and probably look like EVERY OTHER MEETING ROOM. Look people, a work meeting is a work meeting. Fetch is never gonna happen.
- Immuta, which sounds like the Italian phrase for “I’ve turned the sound off on the TV,” has integrated its Data Fabric Security with AWS.
- IBM is set to train 10,000 consultants on AWS generative AI services. Sounds like a blast.
- Our friends at Databricks are now listed in AWS Marketplace for the US Intelligence Community. Now incompetence can be data-driven.
- Global professional services firm Genpact is partnering with AWS to fight financial crime with generative AI. The two will message financial criminals using an AI chatbot that says, “Are you SURE you want to do this? It’s really bad and not nice.”
- Tenovos, a digital asset management firm, has achieved its AWS Retail Competency. The company has proved it can shop til it drops and find the best deals on designer wear.
- Technology consulting firm Credera has earned its AWS Migration Competency.
- Data protection company Commvault has joined the AWS Workload Migration Program (WMP).
- Duality Technologies has joined the AWS Partner Network. It provides secure data center collaboration.
- Roadway intelligence firm Rekor has joined the AWS ISV Accelerate Program.
- Dubai-based Superbo, an AI solutions provider, is partnering with Microsoft to deploy Azure OpenAI across the African continent.