
Image by Suzanne Calkins
Gossip (for nerds)
- Even though its cloud division underperformed, quarterly earnings for Amazon surpassed expectations. Profits were up 88% from a year ago! Everyone was on Amazon buying canned goods and oxygen canisters because soon we won’t be able to go outside without having to engage in hand-to-hand combat with the half-zombie half-human who used to be our neighbor while a nuclear bomb explodes in the background.
- In Microsoft’s quarterly earnings report, AI revenue was $3B above forecast. However, its cloud earnings fell short (the exact words from UBS analysts were “far worse than expected”), which led stock to dip 5%.
- While AWS ramps up data center spending, Microsoft canceled leases with at least two private data center operators. It currently leases data center capacity from various suppliers, but recent cancellations may signal an oversupply (an “AI bubble”) issue—slow customer payoffs and the arrival of DeepSeek are two reasons why demand may be cooling.
- So, what does this all mean for next quarter? Microsoft’s CFO says it’ll probably fall short again, citing influences like foreign exchange rates and businesses not dedicating budgets to AI. Also, spitting truth: “Customers feel that ‘sorely needed features, enhancements, and fixes to core products’ have been put to the side ‘in favor of trying to build a Copilot into everything.’”
- A Microsoft executive said AI will transform wealth management, making it easier for smaller entities like startups to compete with big banks. This is because of AI’s ability to condense data and reduce costs. Specifically, agentic AI can replace people in jobs like customer advisement and portfolio construction with AI.
- Is AWS the technology version of Carrie Bradshaw, who spends all her rent on shoes? The cloud giant is doling out the equivalent of a year’s revenue (~$100B) on infrastructure to support AI.
- Have you ever renovated a kitchen? Here’s the tech version of that.
- Microsoft doesn’t want Donald Trump to advance limits on AI chip exports to Chinese companies, and says doing so would be a “strategic misstep.” Oh really, has that happened lately?
- According to a report from AWS, European startups are adopting AI much faster than their large enterprise counterparts—creating a “two-tier AI economy.”
- Leaked documents revealed that Microsoft is far more involved with the Israeli military and its operations than previously known.
- Allegations that DOGE is feeding sensitive Department of Education data to AI using Microsoft Azure is alarming to cybersecurity experts (and everyday people, too).
- There are no private memos, OK? Just write like it’s gonna be leaked, because the people need their corporate bread and circuses. In this month’s leaked memo, managers will need to manage more, but also less.
- CrowdStrike has made history as the first cloud-native cybersecurity ISV to earn more than $1B in annual sales from AWS Marketplace. Why yes, we DID do marketing work for them.
Wheelin’ and dealin’
- Mondelēz International, the snacks and confectionary company that produces Oreos and Sour Patch Kids—which are chock full of red dye 3 and make your kids lose their goddamn minds—is moving to AWS.
- Investigative analytics software provider Cognyte is integrating its solution to be deployable with Microsoft Azure. This will bring Cognyte tools into Azure to process and analyze unstructured data. Am I ever going to read something about data and not think of The Goonies? Probs not.
- Following an investment from Microsoft, Veeam will build AI products. Veeam’s core products focus on cybersecurity.
- VC firm General Catalyst is partnering with AWS to co-develop and deploy integrated AI products for healthcare—predictive care insights, diagnostics, patient engagement, and platform interoperability. My favorite part of this article is that they included the misspelling in Matt Garma’s emailed quote. Someone get ahead of this man and send him a there-they’re-their primer.
- AWS is going to help Honda transition from hardware-based vehicles to software-based ones using generative AI, IoT, and AWS compute. And, in partnership with AWS, automotive technology company Valeo is building new solutions for software-defined vehicles.
- Wow, AWS really is putting the wheeling back into dealing because there is more vroom vroom news. AWS is expanding its presence as the global technology provider for SRO Motorsports Group to “digitally transform the science of racing.”
- Educational publisher Pearson is expanding its use of AWS, including AI capabilities, to further personalize learning.
- Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center is collaborating with AWS to accelerate breakthroughs in cancer research by applying AI to multimodal data. The deal will also support AI-powered drug discovery efforts. Montefiore Health System is doing similar stuff with AWS.
- Clinical AI company Aidoc has entered into a strategic collaboration with AWS, which will start with optimizing Aidoc’s CARE Foundation Model. The FM helps doctors with real-time identification of suspected critical conditions.
- Defense contractor Booz Allen Hamilton is working with AWS to “enhance technology for federal agencies.” Great timing.
- Snowflake is expanding its partnership with Microsoft to bring OpenAI’s advanced models straight to customers through Snowflake Cortex AI on Microsoft Azure AI Foundry.
- Faros AI is collaborating with Microsoft to bring its data platform for optimizing engineering to Azure.
Ma’am, I’m going to have to call security
- A hacker named Codefinger (ewww) is targeting Amazon S3 buckets, and the ransomware campaign is so effective, organizations are reporting that they can’t shut it down without issuing payment. This could potentially affect supply chains. Um…it’s Cadbury crème egg season, so there better not be supply chain problems.
- Russian scammers are posing as Microsoft tech support on Microsoft Teams, even doing video calls in some cases and getting employee permission to take over screens! Can you imagine watching someone download malware on your computer screen in real time? Talk about a bad day.
World domination
- Microsoft went into full diva mode with its creation of a NEW FORM OF MATTER. That’s right—its “topological qubit” is not gas, liquid, or solid, and it can be used to drive quantum computing (which Microsoft researchers now believe is years away instead of decades).
- The AWS cloud region in Thailand, which includes three Availability Zones, is now up and running. Microsoft is planning to build there but it hasn’t yet. In Singapore, AWS unveiled its Asia-Pacific hub office.
- AWS announced a $5M investment in “mega data centers” for Central Mexico.
- The UK has dropped its investigation into a potentially anti-competitive deal between Microsoft and OpenAI—for now, regulators say.
- Years after Europe asked for more data sovereignty, Microsoft completed its EU Data Boundary project. This will allow EU countries to remain compliant with local regulations, such as storing data in European Free Trade Association regions.
- AWS launched a CloudFront Edge region in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, and hopes to have a fully operational cloud region by 2026. And Saudia Arabia’s STC Group will work with AWS to speed up AI-powered innovation.
- I didn’t know there was any room left in New York City, but apparently there is, because AWS launched a new, upgraded Local Zone Edge location there.
- Australia has entered a Whole-of-Government agreement with AWS. And Australian CommBank extended its agreement with AWS to include customer service optimization and AI innovation.
- India will see $15B in data infrastructure investments from AWS. Also, India’s Tata Power will use AWS AI and IoT to improve things like predictive maintenance for grid resilience.
New stuff
- AWS previewed its Salesforce Contact Center with Amazon Connect, which helps service reps avoid platform switching and gives them a choice in the digital channels they use. So, now Karens can unload all their repressed existential angst and political fear on someone either through Salesforce or Connect.
- It must be Christmas because Santa has visited us all, and in his sleigh is the best present of all: no more Chime. You’d think it would be hard to come up with a gift that every single person on Earth would be happy to receive, but NO, it wasn’t hard.
- And following suit, Microsoft is retiring Skype and moving users toward Teams.
- AWS issued a new rule for third-party SaaS vendors on Marketplace that want a discount: They’ll need to be running 100% on AWS.
- Microsoft’s new podcast, Leading the Shift, will feature interviews with experts, customers, and partners on what they’re doing with AI, data, and the cloud.
- Are we all ready for Microsoft Build? This reporter expects several Copilot announcements.
- Welcome the o3-mini reasoning model to the world, now available in Microsoft Azure OpenAI.