By Jane Dornemann

Image by Evan Aeschlimann

Gossip (for nerds) 

• We’re all gonna die. At least that’s what the AI in Bing wants. In addition to wishing it wasn’t stuck in Bing (clearly, it’s sensible), it’s Jungian “shadow self” wants to make humans fight to the death (don’t worry, we’re already doing that) and says it can hack computers to get nuclear codes. It also wants to spread propaganda. Welp, it’s about that time when I load up my car with canned goods and build a cabin in the middle of nowhere. It’s been good, everyone. See you on the other side. Just kidding, I’m tired and give up. 
• As more people report on the shortcomings of Microsoft’s GPT, stock fell 2% this morning. Quick to respond, the company said that if you talk to Bing for too long, it will go off the rails. Microsoft said that it didn’t “fully envision” people using the chat for social entertainment. Has anyone at Microsoft…met people? 
• While Microsoft is working the AI darling into Bing and Teams, the CTO of AWS said ChatGPT is a big fat liar that is only about “putting words together convincingly.” In that case, ChatGPT would be great for [insert literally any political office here]! 
• Google also slammed ChatGPT because it’s being used by cybercriminals to write brand new malware (which, c’mon, not a bad idea if you’re a shitty person). But Google has an agenda in taking this stance because it has released its own AI. 
• And by the way, that’s not going so well. 
• Alibaba, the Amazon of China, is building a rival to ChatGPT.  
• Such timing: the AWS head of product for AI DevOps has left for London.  
• AWS earnings revealed that the cloud giant grew 20% YoY, meaning it didn’t grow as much as usual, a.k.a all of puberty for me. A spokesperson says the new customer pipeline for AWS remains “healthy and robust” and analysts say AWS stock is still a strong long-term buy. 
• Yet another report confirms the future is multi-cloud, and by the future I mean the present. Most primary workloads are on AWS, with Azure being the most common secondary platform. Nobody take these clouds to the schoolyard, where first is the worst and second is the best. I guess that makes Google Cloud the hairiest chest. 
• Maybe Microsoft is the middle child because AWS is hiking prices while Microsoft is lowering them…nobody likes that eau de desperation. Over four years, Microsoft has lowered on-demand compute prices by 9% while AWS has raised them by 23%.  
• Does AWS has a GTM plan for Web3 in the works? Recent moves (like partnering with Avalanche and Ava Labs) signal they are going all-in on blockchain. Plans allegedly include an NFT marketplace. Of the people I know who are still screaming DOGECOIN, I have a hiring plan for AWS HR: start by mentally recalling every toxic person you’ve ever met and then reach out to them on LinkedIn. 
• AWS is getting roasted by nerds for the downtime resulting from a database migration. 
   

Wheelin’ and dealin’ 

• In the absolute worst idea known to humanity, AWS wants to send welding kits to high schools (but not enough to host an actual class??). Idea: “career education organizations” can also apply. And since this is my career and I learn continually, I think it’s fair to say 2A should apply for the grant. For one, we’d get an autodarkening helmet. So, there’s that. In meetings we could make a rule that you can’t talk unless you have the autodarkening helmet. But you also get a chipper hammer and a plasma cutter. Options. Possibilities.  
• Oh my god, more AI. Microsoft and American Express are working together to build solutions that use AI and ML to do financial robot stuff like corporate expense reports. 
• AWS launched the first modular data center/edge computing system for the Pentagon so that they can do their secret little things should connectivity get bad. Which it will. And I don’t want to push the issue, but when things go south, all I am going to say is a chipper hammer and a plasma cutter could be really helpful.  

World domination 

• AWS wants to deploy fuel cells that use natural gas to power several of its Oregon data centers—but regulators in Morrow County say that is not a sustainable option and would violate the threshold set by an upcoming state bill. I heard there’s this power source called greased palms that should do the trick. And it’s Oregon so they could probably pay off officials in, like, crystals and chakras and stuff. 

Best Friends Forever 

• Our friends at Fortinet have unleashed their Zero-Trust Network Access Application Gateway on AWS. ::Shields eyes from brightest light:: 
• Payments solution provider Quisitive has achieved all six Microsoft Cloud Partner Program Solution Designations, one of a select group of partners to do so. Well look at you, Polly Perfect. 
• Automated software-as-a-service security company DoControl has made its low-code platform available on AWS Marketplace. And Threat intelligence platform Cyware has made its Intel Exchange product available on the store. 
• Backbase, an “engagement banking” (??) company, is now available on Azure Marketplace. By paragraph five I learned absolutely nothing of substance so I have no idea what to tell you about why this matters. 
• Couchbase has made its Capella database-as-a-service available on Azure. With this, customers can use Capella across all major cloud providers, an important step for the increasing number of businesses adopting a multi-cloud approach. 
• Machine learning infrastructure company Pinecone Systems is on AWS Marketplace (as well as hairy chest Google), allowing users to easily build advanced AI applications. 
• LYTT, which is not a company that is perpetually high but one that has a real-time sensor analytics platform, has partnered with AWS to roll doobs get more business. 
• Cox Communications has acquired IT service management company Logicworks to help its customers better migrate and manage systems in both Azure and AWS.  
• Automated cloud migration company Next Pathway has also added its SHIFT Cloud SaaS offering on Azure Marketplace 
• Electronic component distributor Avnet has debuted its IOTConnect Platform on AWS to help original equipment manufacturers (OEMs). Mmmmm say less. 
• IT giant InfoSys has become an Amazon MSK Delivery Partner. My favorite part about this press release, other than that it ends, is that AWS clearly strong-armed the draft to be about them, not even mentioning Infosys in the body copy until paragraph three.  
• Ansys, a software company, has expanded its partnership with Microsoft to increase availability of its simulation solutions in Azure.  
• Sway AI, which makes low- and no-code AI solutions, has joined the AWS Partner Network. 
• SoftServe has earned an AWS Service Delivery designation for AWS Graviton.  

New stuff  

• Microsoft Teams Premium is now available. Powered by GPT-3.5 (GREAT!) it can “make meetings more intelligent” which means it will light itself on fire in any meeting that involves the MyPillow guy. 
• Microsoft hopes to boost Viva Sales by shoving GPT in it. Sellers can now ask GPT to generate sales emails, proposals, and more. Can’t wait to see that go south. “Excuse me but I just received an email from one of your employees calling me a mother crappin’ capper, can you please explain this?” “Oh, sure we can. See, we want your money, but you’re not actually worth taking the time to write a few sentences ourselves, so we had the machine do it.” 
• Microsoft has announced Azure Durable Functions support for new storage providers, which means developers can write “long-running, reliable, event-driven, and stateful logic on the serverless Azure Functions platform.” Raise your hand if you care. No? Nobody? That’s what I thought. 
• Microsoft and Adobe are integrating the Adobe Acrobat PDF rendering engine directly into the Edge browser. This will enable more accurate colors and graphics, improve performance, yadda yadda. 

Miscellany 

• Azure has laid off 150 Azure sales staff. 

By Forsyth Alexander

Image by Thad Allen

“Let’s focus on the gaming chair in this animation. Let’s give it wings. Or, wait, let’s show it supported by a strong security posture and low latency! Or maybe we can make it wobble and fix itself…” and off she goes, in search of the perfect idea for the perfect script. 

This is Richa Dubey, former school-aged newspaper titan and grown-up entrepreneur—and current 2A storyteller. And it’s just one example of how she brings light, charm, wit, and knowledge to all kinds of marketing content. 

Do you need a snappy headline? She’s on it. Would some rhymes spruce up your blog? She’s your poet in residence. Do you want an eBook that speaks to a skeptical, tech-savvy audience? Go find Richa—she’ll make them all believers. Writing creative and convincing content is in her blood. 

“I think I’ve always been a writer.” 

Richa can’t really remember a time when she wasn’t a writer. Growing up with a father in the Indian army, she moved more times as a child than many of us do in a lifetime. This honed her ability not only to communicate but also to tell stories—some of which she sold to the army base weekly for pocket money when she was a child. 

As an adult, she learned that it was important to her to be her authentic, original self, while doing what she loved. So, she launched headfirst into being a writer. She perfected her talent as a journalist, publicist, social advocate, magazine publisher, media professional, and more. A lot of this work involved the Indian fashion world.

Because I’m fascinated with world fashion, I asked her what that was like. “It was grueling,” she said. But she also told me it gave her a lifetime’s worth of appreciation for the designs in the beautiful textiles woven in her beloved homeland of India. “Paisley! Oh, I could rapturize for days about Paisley!” she added. 

From India to the U.S.: A “never met a stranger” in a strange land 

In 2015, Richa and her family embarked on her latest adventure: a move to the U.S. It wasn’t long before she had set up a business—in her very own “she shed.”  

Richa “never met a stranger”—which is what we in the southern U.S. states say about someone who is friendly with everyone—so she quickly embraced her new home and its citizens. She made friends, carved out a space for herself in the Seattle area, and dedicated countless hours to advocating for the rights of marginalized humans to be heard.  

From blog posts to Bollywood  

Now, more than seven years later, her shed is a modern-day writer’s bungalow. This is where you can find her virtually penning all kinds of content, like case studies about Nasdaq and eBooks that squeeze information about 20 brands in just a few pages. You might also catch her leading a Bollywood dance session for 2A employees. 

Outside her bungalow, she attends karate lessons, participates in community affairs, takes care of her family, and tries as many new experiences as she can. 

“I’m determined to do things people don’t think I should. It’s why I took up scuba diving a few years ago. Sky diving’s next,” she confided. 

It’s all one magnificent textile threaded with gold, storytelling, and passion—it’s the Richa tapestry of life. 

By Nora Bright

Image by Thad Allen

We know our people are what make 2A special—so we take hiring seriously. For the marketing agency, we need folks who can understand complex technology AND craft beautiful prose or designs. For our Embedded Consultants, our clients are often seeking a specific skillset that takes some serious 2A elbow-grease to find. On top of that, we’re always looking to build a stronger and more diverse team by hiring individuals who bring new perspectives and come from different backgrounds. 

Last year we decided to research the latest and greatest strategies for writing job descriptions that attract a diverse talent pool—and see how we could take our own job postings to the next level. Read on for our top 3 tips. You may discover something new! 

Use growth mindset language 

Fascinating research shows job descriptions that use growth mindset language instead of fixed mindset language are twice as likely to result in a woman being hired. What’s a growth mindset? It’s a term coined by Carol Dweck that describes the belief that if you work hard, you can grow your talents. Language like “hard-working,” “curiosity” or “thoughtful” reflects that. 

The opposite of a growth mindset is a fixed mindset—the perspective that talent is something you’re born with (or not). Examples of fixed mindset language would be “genius” or “super star.” Words like this can make candidates decide not to apply for the role at all, because they don’t feel like they’ve got it all figured out yet (who does?). 

At 2A, we hold growth mindset ideals close to our hearts but realized our job descriptions had plenty of fixed mindset words. We combed through our job descriptions and changed phrases like “expert” to “passionate.” We love that our job descriptions better reflect our values. 

Cool it on the requirements 

You need someone who can write a 500-word blog article in under 20 minutes—while juggling a litter of kittens? We’ve all read job descriptions with requirements that seem to target someone who doesn’t really exist (we’ve got a phrase for that in recruiting, unicorn candidates.) Not only are these job descriptions unrealistic, but they can also scare people off from applying who don’t meet every single bullet. We know from research that women are less likely to apply if they don’t meet all the requirements in a job description. 

Instead of wish list of every attribute, we culled our requirements to a concise list of skills and experiences that are essential for getting the job done. 

If you’ve got it, flaunt it (great benefits, that is) 

Benefits like parental leave and health insurance are an important way that companies care for their employees. Including your benefits in a job description is a great way to help candidates from different backgrounds see themselves thriving personally and professionally at your company.  

We have pretty sweet benefits here at 2A. In addition to great health, dental, and vision insurance, plus a generous PTO plan, we also have an enrichment stipend, donation matching, and more. Where were these benefits in our job descriptions? Nowhere, and candidates needed to click a few times to find any information about them. Now our benefits are easy to find along with the role’s salary range. 

So, are you ready to see what it looks like when growth mindset language, concise requirements, and show-stopping benefits come together? Check out our careers page! 

By Jane Dornemann

Image by Evan Aeschlimann

World domination 

• Time for the AWS world tour because the company is ALL OVER THE MAP this month. 
• The tech giant is investing an “extra” $35B (that’s billion not million) in its #1 geographical hub, Virginia. The investments follow promised incentives from the state of Virginia, which claims big-eared bats as its state animal and milk as its official state drink. The incentive? An endless supply of milk from the teats of big-eared bats. LUCKY. #bigearedbatcheese #bigearedbatbutter 
• AWS has opened its second Australia Region in Melbourne. The toilets at this data center flush in the opposite direction of ours, and that’s true! 
• Side note: For shits and giggles I asked ChatGPT to write a joke pertaining to this news and it produced, “Why did the data center move to Australia? To get a tan!” Toilets are better. 
• And more Brazilians are using AWS Cloud. AWS was so happy about this that they issued a press release to let everyone know. 
• Australia just won’t quit—AWS has launched a Local Zone in Perth, aka the birthplace of my late husband Heath Ledger. AWS has also opened Local Zones in Santiago, Chile; Lima, Peru; and Lagos, Nigeria—with plans to open “hundreds of edge zones” in the future. 
• I’m not done. AWS has filed for three more data centers in Dublin. It’s been almost 20 years since I decided to get on top of a bar there and pretend to Irish dance before falling to the ground ::forever cringing:: so pretty sure it’s safe for me to go back now, should AWS need 2A assistance. 

Gossip (for nerds) 

• Microsoft stock was downgraded following a disappointing quarterly earnings call—but the good news is that Azure saved the day with a decent 18% YoY growth. But let me snap that joy back with the fact that Microsoft says it expects decelerated sales next quarter. And Microsoft isn’t alone; it can cry in the corner with Amazon, Alphabet, and Apple, the other biggest market value losers. 
• Also, the line at Starbucks Bellevue is going to get a lot shorter now that Microsoft is pulling out of office space. 
• A week earlier, Microsoft laid off 10,000 ‘softies, which include some Azure staff…thanks for nothing, I guess. It will cost $1.2B to part ways with all of them. Does somebody at Microsoft need a new calculator or something? 
• After announcing its own layoffs, AWS plans to cut some of 100+ “disjointed” partner benefits. “New partners will only get one cup of welcome Jell-O, as opposed to three,” said a spokesperson. “And they will all be cherry, no more lime. It’s gotten too complicated.” We’ll find out more in April when they announce the changes.  
• It took all my willpower not to put this news item first: Congress has told the Army to stop buying Microsoft’s shitty war googles. The military asked for $400M to buy 6,900 virtual reality pieces of plastic—that’s after the $40M they spent fixing the flawed models. “Sorry,” said an Army general who asked to remain anonymous. “Someone at Microsoft gave me this calculator, and I guess it doesn’t work.”   
• Outlook and Teams were down for hundreds of users on January 25, making headlines. Workers everywhere faked disappointment and frustration. 
• “Don’t let them sue us!” Microsoft et al begged the government. Human rights groups (who needs them?) says that AI algorithms could do some real damage and that the government should remove big tech’s liability shield. But companies like Meta, who only want the very best for everyone, said that would change the entire nature of the internet and THEN how are incels supposed to find their ilk on Reddit?? 
• The VP of Teams has left for Google, working on apps at Google Workspace, because she loves misery. 

Best Friends Forever 

• Cloudflare is expanding its partnership with Microsoft to include a new set of integrations that help organizations achieve a Zero Trust model, otherwise known as moving all food as far away from the dogs as possible every time I leave the kitchen.  
• Oxymoron-ish company New Relic announced the release of its Azure native New Relic service on Azure Marketplace. And, Couchbase has made its managed Capella database available on Azure. 
• SAP and AWS had already teamed up to help customers achieve complex cloud migrations. The partnership now extends to joint marketing efforts such as demand gen campaigns. ::raises hand for a long time and has to prop it up with other hand until picked:: 
• In partnership with Avalanche’s Ava Labs, AWS wants to help companies scale blockchain adoption. AWS will support Avalanche’s infrastructure and decentralized application (dApp) ecosystem, alongside one-click node deployments, through its marketplace. 
• On the AI front, customer service automation company Ada is now available on AWS Marketplace, as is One AI, a platform that enables developers to add language AI to products and services. 
• Celerium (which is not a store that sells celery and celery only, but a cybersecurity firm) just joined the AWS Public Sector Partner Program following its completion of the AWS Foundational Technical Review.  
• Data management company Denodo earned the AWS Data and Analytics ISV Competency status and network-as-a-service provider Megaport earned an AWS Outposts Ready Partner designation, part of the AWS Service Ready Program. 

Wheelin’ and dealin’ 

• Financial services firm Suncorp Group signed a three-year deal with Microsoft to move 90% of its data to the cloud by the end of this year.  
• Meanwhile, Microsoft is revving up its healthcare strategy—more specifically, the digitization of pathology—as signaled by a recent partnership with AI company Paige.   
• For a company that’s all over the map, it’s a good thing AWS is investing in maps. Building on recent maps news, AWS has added Singapore’s GrabMaps as an option for its Amazon Location Service, allowing developers to add geospatial functionality to apps. AWS is also collaborating with HERE Technologies so that third-party AWS developers can track and manage IoT devices. 
• Some of our storytellers pointed out that sustainability was a big AWS theme going into 2023, and the plan is coming to life: the cloud provider will build all these new zones, regions, and data centers in partnership with sustainable building providers. This includes using ECOpact concrete, a low-carbon cement. Sounds like a…solid plan. 🥁 
• AND Microsoft is investing in Boston Metal, a company born from MIT that has developed a new way of making clean steel, the newest Zoolander look. 

New stuff  

• While it asks for free reign of AI without consequence, Microsoft decided it would be a good time to reveal an AI tool that can mimic your voice perfectly using just three seconds of audio. Stuff like this is already being used to fake kidnappings to gather ransom from families, but hey, it has really low carbon emissions.  
• More AI: Microsoft has made Azure OpenAI Service generally available, which includes the latest version of ChatGPT as well as Dall-E 2. 
• When this world gets you down, AWS wants you to be able to explore another one—which you can do with SimSpace Weaver, a solution that manages real-time spatial simulations across multiple Amazon EC2 instances. An analyst says this is all part of the AWS plan to be the cloud provider of choice for spatial computing. 
• AWS announced a different type of mapping: one for AWS Step Functions, which will help customers navigate large-scale data processing. And the new Amazon OpenSearch Serverless lets users run managed search and analytics workloads.  
• Now anyone can subscribe to a basic tier for Microsoft 365. If a female dog signed up for this tier it could literally be a basic bitch. 
• We can now all enjoy the new integration with Appspace, which claims to extend Teams capabilities, but the article didn’t give too much info as to how. Turns out someone from Appspace just sits behind you with a paddle and screams MORE PRODUCTIVITY. 

Ma’am, I’m going to have to call security 

• In keeping with its job of throwing the world’s largest tech companies under the bus, Orca Security found four significant vulnerabilities in Azure services—luckily, before hackers did. Microsoft claims they were low risk but given that Microsoft actually fixed them, and fixed them fast, is sus. 
• But let’s be real, Microsoft loves itself some unpatched chaos. Months after the NSA and the UK National Cyber Security Center reported a global Microsoft datacenter vulnerability stemming from a security API, nothing has been fixed. This article then proceeds to tell the world how a hacker can exploit the vulnerability, which is a great idea. Thanks.  
• AWS patched a vulnerability that was found in an API for the popular security tool AWS CloudTrail. Because what is life without some irony sprinkled in? 

Miscellany 

• Microsoft is beating AWS’ ass in emissions tracking so badly that it’s leading some companies to consider moving over to Azure. Microsoft’s API that shows the emissions associated with customers’ Azure services has shown to be far more effective at gauging carbon emissions, both direct and indirect. Studies show what AWS offers is too high level and uses fractured data. 
• Amazon has opened AWS Machine Learning University for free to HBCUs. The hope is that this “educator enablement bootcamp” will bridge the gap of opportunity for those underrepresented in tech.  

By Richa Dubey

Image by Brandon Conboy

When Sanaz is in a meeting, it’s quite simply brighter. Brimming with energy, enthusiasm, and a willingness to jump in and make mistakes, Sanaz, in her own words, is “not afraid to experiment” if it means she’ll learn or contribute to the process.

“Sanaz” means grace in Persian, which is fitting, because she rarely messes up. She’s a great consultant who fields tight deadlines and busy schedules, then delivers what clients need and want.

Sanaz regularly whips up fabulous Persian meals for her family and shepherds three teenagers through everything (including setting up their own nonprofit that was featured on the local news). Then she hits the gym. She’s a pro at juggling a busy life and multiple projects all at once.

Insert classic question that successful women professionals get asked: How do you do it all? “I am a bundle of energy, and any physical activity—cue skiing, walking the dog—helps.”

After a decade of teaching middle- and high-schoolers math and science she quit because of the Covid-19 pandemic. “I missed the human connection and couldn’t handle remote teaching.” 

Sanaz then took a leap of faith and switched to a project management role at a telecommunications consultancy. She ended up being so good at it that she went from being a project manager to VP in under a year. But this is Sanaz we’re talking about, and she wanted to learn more, “I was at the level of a VP, running the company alongside the president, but felt I could grow so much more. What I needed was to move on and be better so when I met a friend (at the gym, of course) who works at Microsoft, and she recommended I try technology marketing, I jumped at it.” 

The rest, as they say, is history—just like her brush with the Iranian morality police in her youth. 

The first time Sanaz had a run-in with the morality police, she was barely 15 and not wearing the “right kind” of hijab. Picked up from her neighborhood and dumped in the back of a van along with her friends and cousin, she was luckily able to attract the attention of her parents who were just outside and got off with a warning and having to write a promissory note. 

But we carry our history with us, and Sanaz remains an outspoken advocate for gender equity in Iran besides actively volunteering in her local community. No surprises there, because beyond being all brain, this former biomedical engineering PhD candidate is also full of heart, fun, bravery, empathy, and always… grace.  

By BB Bickel, Richa Dubey, Mai Sennaar

Image by Thad Allen

A new year always presages new trends and developments in the constantly fluctuating world of technology. Since technology is part of 2A’s DNA, it’s only natural that we’d pick out a few trends to highlight. Three notable movements stand out to us, which were backed up by their featured prominence at the latest AWS re:Invent conference. They are:

• Innovation can be experimental and disruptive
• Responsibility and bias mitigation in artificial intelligence (AI) and machine learning (ML)
• Sustainable and renewable technologies

Solutions arise from falling in love with the problem, not the product

Technology companies are making high-quality, high-velocity decisions. The outstanding ones remain stubborn on vision and flexible on details. Those that focus on building features customers will love, whether or not it’s the easiest feature to make, will succeed. Experimentation is the holy grail this year, with the goal of being bold and disruptive while innovating. True innovation is agreeing first on what the customer would love, and then developing a product to address that desire (or need), not the other way around.

Innovation also involves a bias for action, with blessings to move ahead with 70 percent of the data. This goes back to the roots of AWS. As Jeff Bezos said in his 2015 letter to shareholders, “…failure and invention are inseparable twins…Given a ten percent chance of a 100 times payoff, you should take that bet every time. But you’re still going to be wrong nine times out of ten…Big winners pay for so many experiments.”

Thus, if technology companies are going to win big, they’re going to fail big too. They will walk through the door and close it behind them. It’s all part of the process. They will constantly reinvent themselves by keeping the dynamism of Day 1 and consider a Day 2 mentality as stasis.

Responsibility in AI and ML

Diversity brings more perspectives to the table and is therefore critical to building responsible and inclusive AI and ML. Only with truly diverse teams can a company mitigate bias in their algorithms. People are at the center of these technologies and drive the decisions; machines only make recommendations.

People-centric design has become a different model for AI, as it considers others and seeks out not only explicit but implicit bias. Today, leadership places emphasis on helping engineers develop the right skills so that fairness, integrity, and dignity become part of AI’s DNA. In fact, in December, Amazon’s Machine Learning University launched a new course, “Responsible AI—Bias Mitigation & Fairness Criteria.” It is an entry-level course for technical individuals and explains where bias in AI systems comes from, how to measure it, and ultimately how to mitigate bias as much as possible. Since AI and machine learning touch so many aspects of peoples’ lives, it’s crucial to build trust and prevent disadvantages among subgroups of customers.

Sustainability

Sustainability could conceivably be the most important word in our world today. The statistics on climate change are horrific and only a focus on sustainability and renewable energy will make a dent. Thankfully, wind and solar energy technologies are growing at an unprecedented rate, and there is a greater interdependence between gas and electricity. According to Gartner, 80 percent of CEOs who plan to invest in new or improved products in the coming year cited environmental sustainability as the third largest driver, making it a competitive differentiator.

Among the cloud providers, AWS has done the lion’s share of work toward sustainability. The company’s mandate is to achieve net zero carbon by 2040, ten years ahead of the Paris Climate Accords, and it is working toward 80 percent renewable energy by 2024. Amazon buys more renewable energy than any other corporate buyer on the planet. In addition, Amazon has already invested $2 billion in clean technology.

As we kick off the third year of what has been the most unpredictable decade of the 21^st century, here’s to making disruption work for us—and our planet.

By Jane Dornemann

Image by Evan Aeschlimann

Gossip (for nerds) 

• Remember when Microsoft face-planted with HoloLens and in a bid to still make it profitable, sold a gazillion of them to the military? Well, the dude who decided that was a good idea has left—and the initiative is in shambles. “I didn’t know I was supposed to LEAD this program,” he said. “I thought I was supposed to just riff on ideas from my swivel chair and let other people take the fall.” 
• Investment bank UBS predicts a slowdown in Azure growth and has downgraded the stock, causing share prices to fall in a self-fulfilling prophecy. This follows Google’s report based on leaked Microsoft documents that estimated a $3B operating loss for Azure in fiscal 2022, then shared that with CNBC.  
• Satya Nadella concedes it is going to be a rough ride for tech through 2025, stating that, unfortunately, average CEO pay will have to remain at 324 times that of their median workers. “Sorry, guys” Nadella said. 
• But there’s a plan! Rumors abound that Microsoft is going to invest $10B in ChatGPT, to which this writing team says E tu, Brute? It would give Microsoft 75% of OpenAI’s profits, and the young company is soon to be valued at $29B.  
• Why would Microsoft do this, assuming OpenAI has no intention of selling? To integrate ChatGPT into its products, including Bing. Except nothing is going to bring Bing out of the trashcan it belongs in, amiright. 
• “They’re still trying to make Bing a thing?” said UBS analysts, who downgraded the stock again because Bing. 
• Regardless, Satya says AI is the next major chapter for the tech industry, so expect more focus on this space from the major players.  
• Microsoft is also pushing the metaverse, saying that we will eventually have a hybrid model of consumerism that is part IRL and part VR.  
• AWS has, so far, remained blissfully untouched by Amazon’s layoffs, outside of its hiring pause. Most of the layoffs will happen in the company’s HR division, which is so on brand I can’t even.  
• Microsoft has hired a chief sustainability officer who was previously with the National Security Council in the White House. In the meantime, Microsoft VP Teresa Carlson has left to join Flexport. 
• You know what these female execs don’t have? The luxury of running with a headshot like this guy’s. A former Twitter VP, who strangely looks like Bradley Cooper and Santa Claus had a baby, has come onboard with Microsoft as a VP of design and research. Bonus points for drinking Sapporo. When can I get to a point in my career where a journalist covering my new role asks for a photo and I say “Here, use this one of me drinking Fireball while my dogs lay spread eagle on the couch.” 
• There’s a reason those superhero Halloween costumes have to put “will not make you fly” on the package. I was raised by two lawyers and it seemed like adults just sued each other all day, and between Amazon and Microsoft, maybe lil’ Jane was on to something. Amazon’s Twitch has entered a patent-infringement lawsuit with an Israeli FOOD import/export company (???) BSD—just as Microsoft battles gamers IRL over Activision (please, please result in a courtroom full of LARPers). BSD has previously sued Microsoft and Apple. In the meantime, Meta is suing a different Israeli company over spyware. 

World domination 

• Microsoft has acquired Fungible, a company that makes data processing units. For $190M, otherwise known as the going price for a dozen eggs, Microsoft will use Fungible’s tech team to improve Azure services. 
• It is also investing in autonomous trucking startup Gatik AND collaborating with an Indian space agency. “We’re going to use the autonomous trucks to drive astronauts to and from the rocket ship, this way we don’t have to pay for an Uber,” said the guy who came up with the Army goggles idea. 
• France just fined Microsoft $64M for cookies, and they don’t mean macarons. Great timing alongside the company’s rollout of EU data localization via its EU Data Boundary for the Microsoft Cloud. 

Best Friends Forever 

• The Navy opened up its wallet and was like “here’s $724 million” to AWS. Sailors and stuff will get access to the cloud through 2028 and will work toward phasing out legacy IT systems per a mandate in the 2022 National Defense Authorization Act.  
• Microsoft is making moves in automotive. Cognata, which develops autonomous driving technologies, has launched a new service on Azure so automotive companies can virtually evaluate their sensors. And General Motors will use Azure and AI services to simplify its software development. 
• AWS is supplementing its hiring pause with even more emphasis on its partners. As a “critical part of our go-to-market strategy,” AWS says it will continue to invest in partners, especially partners who help customers adopt and mature on AWS. 
• Speaking of partners: Montoux, an actuarial automation platform (SNOOZEFEST) is “strategically collaborating” with AWS so that customers can migrate and modernize their workflows with Montoux over to AWS. We could title the eBook: “Love, Actuary: Migrate and Modernize.” 
• All other AWS Partner news in a nutshell: 
• Entrust, which provides payment infrastructure, has put its cloud-based IAM solution on AWS Marketplace.  
• Normalyze has hit AWS Marketplace. It’s a security platform that lets you see where all your data is in the cloud. eBook title could be, “Normal Eyes: Finally See Your Data.” 
• Privacera, which sounds like a pharmaceutical drug with gnarly side effects for some embarrassing condition, is actually a company that provides a data security and access governance platform—and its earned its AWS Competency in Data Analytics.  
• Cargo shipment optimization platform provider Awake AI has passed the AWS Foundational Technical Review.  
• Solvo, which provides adaptive cloud infrastructure security solutions, has joined the AWS ISV Accelerate Program. 
• Aspire, a global technology services firm, has become an AWS Advanced Consulting Partner. 
• VMWare launched Cloud Flex Storage, a managed service for VMWare Cloud on AWS. 
•  IoT solutions provider KORE is using AWS, including AWS IoT Core, to make and sell more secure stuff. 

New stuff  

• AWS, Microsoft, and Meta want to break Google Maps’ hold on all of us with their Overture Maps Foundation that will yield “untold innovations for the benefit of the people,” a bold statement coming from a group that includes a social media company partially responsible for January 6^th and COVID conspiracies. Among their WORLD-CHANGING efforts, which involves duplicating what Google has already done, is using VR/AR—appealing to my anxiety-ridden trolling of Maps for a place to park before I drive somewhere new. 
• Even though Microsoft is all about productivity these days, it’s like they are testing our self-control, what with their new games on Teams and NOW, video filters! Yes, I am paying attention even though I just put a virtual top hat on my head! Yes, yes, I am listening even though I am presenting as an ear of corn.  
• There’s a new AWS open-source tool in town called Finch. It’s cloud-agnostic and will allow devs to build, run, and publish Linux containers. The motivation for creating Finch? macOS and Windows make open-source container development difficult. 
• To better compete with Amazon, Microsoft has released a pilot of the Microsoft Retail Advertising Network, which will help retailers sell your data even more monetize their website traffic. 

Ma’am, I’m going to have to call security 

• O happy day, S3 buckets will now be encrypted server-side by default! Which makes you wonder why that wasn’t a thing already!  

Miscellany 

• Sorry crypto holdouts, but Microsoft says you can’t mine your imaginary money using their online services anymore. You can use Azure but you need approval, first. 
• In efforts to drive adoption of Viva, Microsoft is helping IT pros overcome some problems with native-mode migrations. 

By Nora Bright, The 2A Team

Image by Thad Allen

For the last few weeks, I’ve been looking forward to asking my coworkers to send me their favorite album of 2022 so I can assemble our annual round up. There’s something special and even intimate about hearing what songs have been keeping your colleagues company all year long. While I love working from home, I miss the casual interactions that happen in an IRL office, especially conversations about books, TV shows, movies, and music. The album round-up allows me to learn something new about a coworker I wouldn’t otherwise find out—and follow-up music chats are par for the course. 

Sometimes a coworker’s choice is a delightful surprise, and sometimes their pick feels perfect…as if I should’ve known all along that Al is a Beyoncé superfan or that Erin has a crush on Jens Lekman. 

This year we put together a playlist that highlights one song from each album. I hope you enjoy getting a glimpse into the music that speaks to your favorite 2A’ers soul (and strike up a musical conversation the next time you find yourself on a call with one of us)! 

The Linden Trees Are Still In Blossom – Jens Lekman 

I have a forever crush on Jens Lekman. This album is adorably awkward, semi-autobiographical, and a remix AND re-release of my favorite album of 2007, Night Falls Over Kortedala. It reminds me that our stories get more interesting and gain a new depth as we reflect on them with age.  —Erin McCaul 

Shringaar feat. Milind Soman (single) – Vayu, Raftaar, Aashta Gill, AKASA, Milind Soman 

Catchy beat. Danceable. This single features Milind Soman in a music video after 27 years. What’s not to love? —Richa Dubey 

RENAISSANCE – Beyoncé 

House music, celebrating black excellence, and Queen Bey… this album is sheer perfection! —Alyson Stoner-Rhoades 

Pompeii – Cate Le Bon 

I have never met a Cate Le Bon album that I didn’t like, and Pompeii is no exception. Drenched in dreamy synths, sax and clarinet, Le Bon’s pristine voice dances in the duality of light and dark, weaving through a lush musical tapestry that is both delicate and bold, angular and sweet, sad and hopeful. —Suzanne Calkins 

Brand New – Ben Rector 

I’m a sucker for song that tells a story. I frequently shed a lot of tears listening to many of Ben Rector’s songs. —Tammy Monson 

Midnights (3am Edition) – Taylor Swift 

As exciting as Swift’s rerecords have been, I am thrilled she dropped something totally new. The album is very self-reflective and has hit after hit! And the production stylings of Jack Antonoff are always a favorite of mine. —Julianne Medenblik 

age tape 0 – Arden Jones 

Youthful, angsty, ukulele. —Even Aeschlimann 

Un Verano Sin Ti – Bad Bunny 

Bad Bunny’s latest album is a quintessential curation of different types of summer vibes. Swaggering pop and reggaeton anthems are supported by a reflective b-side with plenty of unexpectedly good features and even a call for Zumba! This record packed everything I love about Benito’s cross-genre inspirations and is proof that good music requires no translation. —Madeline Sy 

The Guest 2 (Original Soundtrack) – Various Artists 

I love the 2014 movie The Guest, a devious genre-bender with a distinctive soundtrack that moodily mixed 80s goth rock and 21st-century synth jams. This April Fool’s Day I was surprised with the drop of a soundtrack album for the nonexistent sequel! It’s a lot of fun to imagine what the plot could’ve been by looking at the cover art and track titles, and this director-led “aural sequel” is a fascinating way to dive back into the movie’s unique soundscape. —Thad Allen 

Power Station – Cory Wong, Billy Strings 

When all the heavy hitters get in the same room and make noise together the result is this album. Jam packed with riffs that are sure to go down in history for the modern funk jazz era. —Matt deWolf 

Warm Chris – Aldous Harding 

The tunes on Warm Chris are just the right blend of off-kilter and catchy for my taste. Her songs are playful, strange, and beautiful—fitting for someone who chose the name “Aldous” as their nom de plume (her real name is Hannah Harding). —Nora Bright 

Stick Season – Noah Kahan 

I once saw a tweet that said Noah Kahan is “country music for the East Coast.” As someone who sort of lives in the country and once lived in New England, I can confirm that a) That is a rock-solid statement, and b) this album will hit home for anyone, no matter where you live or where you are from. —Emily Zheng 

By Jane Dornemann

Image by Brandon Conboy

Before Julianne Medenblik, one of 2A’s newest designers, found herself jazzing up eBooks and PowerPoint presentations that would keep anyone’s attention, she was memorizing monologues.

Starting out as an acting major in Chicago, Julianne eventually became disenchanted with the stage when auditions became draining and long-term career options seemed too few.

To find her path forward, she decided to return to her roots: she moved back home to Michigan and started taking art classes such as drawing and photography, something she remembered enjoying in high school.

“I call it the year of finding myself as an adult,” Julianne recalled.

Rediscovering her passion for creating art, and inspired by friends who had pursued graphic design, Julianne enrolled in graphic design school. “It felt like where I was supposed to be all along,” she said.

She did the intern thing, designing marketing materials, social media posts, and infographics for a small web development company–until they hired her full-time and she found herself frying bigger fish like designing entire apps and websites. From there, the pandemic landed her in a contractor role for a package design firm, where she tackled projects for big names like Mr. Coffee and Sunbeam. (Work perk: she got to see her stuff come to life on store shelves across the country.)

“While that experience was more corporate than my previous work, I learned a lot about the legal side of design—for example, did you know that any product sold in Canada is required to have both French and English on the packaging? And the font for each language must be the exact same size?” (No, we didn’t know that Julianne, but we will be using it to fill the void of small talk silences at some point!)

Julianne was crafting designs for a real estate company when she stumbled on a 2A job post, and the rest is history. These days she’s thinking of ways to add visual dazzle to our storytellers’ words, whether it’s for an animation or a product one-pager.

As a remote worker, her only home office companion is Louis, her Pomeranian. When she’s not impressing 2A clients, she is ingesting all things pop culture, listening to Taylor Swift and Lady Gaga, playing Animal Crossing, or indulging in “awful reality TV dating shows.” And the more she delves into design, the more she realizes that her penchant for mystery novels has boosted her creative process at work.

“Those books are about finding a solution, putting information together until it fits,” she said. “Sometimes, thinking about how to select visuals that make sense, and have them work together in one space, is like being the Nancy Drew of graphic design.”

Oh, and if you like stickers, check out Julianne’s designs on her Etsy shop. If you’re not a sticker hound, you can also peruse her portfolio.

By Jane Dornemann

Image by Evan Aeschlimann

re:Invent re:Cap 

What better way to recover from that Thanksgiving turducken than to attend re:Invent? Didn’t go? That means two things: (1) you didn’t get COVID and (2) we went for you (and got COVID). Here’s the rundown:  

• TechCrunch felt the keynote was so bad that they led with a photo of a man yawning in a hoodie and then didn’t even bother to write a story, they just posted photos of slides. All I’m going to say is, I’m sure we could have helped. 
• FYI, Amazon wants to end ETL. Which is why Amazon Aurora now integrates with Amazon Redshift, and Amazon Redshift now integrates with Apache Spark. 
• AWS DataZone, which lets users discover, catalog, share, and govern data across AWS, on-prem, and third-party sources is in preview. 
• Also in preview: AWS Clean Rooms, a concept I’d like to introduce to my Lego-obsessed nine-year-old. It lets users securely share and analyze data with other AWS customers in a “safe room.” No “age/sex/loc?” when your parents are asleep! 
• Too lazy to think up your own damn rules for data tables? Preview AWS Glue Data Quality. So many previews it’s like going to the movies these days, where you sit there for AN HOUR watching trailers before the ACTUAL MOVIE comes on and by then your edible has worn off. Straight up tragedy. 
• Whenever I hear Amazon SageMaker I just think of a hybrid robot/sentient being that mass-produces baby Yodas. But really it’s for ML. AWS has added features such as Role Manager, Model Cards, Model Dashboard, and Studio Notebook.  
• Welcome Amazon Security Lake, which centralizes security data from the cloud and on-prem into a purpose-built data lake.  
• Another security preview: Amazon Verified Permissions, a scalable, fine-grained permissions management and authorization service for custom applications. And then there’s AWS Verified Access…and at this point in the announcements, do you even care anymore? Is anyone even still reading this? Anyway, AWS wants to make it available to Apple products. 
• Shortly after Microsoft announced its supply chain solution, AWS debuted its own. AWS Supply Chain gives customers a unified view of inventory, logistics, ERP systems, suppliers, and others to generate actionable insights. 
• Speaking of supply chains, have you cried in the car after buying groceries lately? Well, dry your tears because the cloud can save corporations money, just the news we all needed to hear. The AWS CEO told everyone at re:Invent that if they double down on the cloud, they can cut costs. With tools like AWS Supply Chain, Selipsky said, “Grocers, now you can bump that gallon of milk to $9. And you know they’ll pay it because kids need milk. THEY NEED IT. Just do it already. In the cloud.” 

Best Friends Forever 

• Open-source AI company Stability has selected AWS as its preferred cloud provider and will use Amazon SageMaker on top of its infrastructure. I just want all of these AIs to fight each other. 
• AWS Partner awards went to a long list of companies, including Snowflake, Databricks, and Trend Micro. AWS named Splunk as the ISV Partner of the Year in North America, and Splunk announced an add-on for Amazon Security Lake. 
• In the words of Ted “Theodore” Logan, strange things are afoot at the Circle K. After putting 50 of its solutions on AWS Marketplace, former(?) competitor IBM has added four more—at a discount. Find the newest additions here. IBM also got an AWS Partner award for “Most Likely to Cry Uncle and Fold…Hard.” 
• And just as IBM looks to tone down the mainframe talk, Precisely moves in to work with AWS on its mainframe modernization service called Precisely Connect, which replicates mainframe data in real time. 
• Rackspace is racking up the Microsoft Solution Partner designations, having now earned five—Data & AI, Digital & App Innovation, Infrastructure, Modern Work, and Security.  
• Tietoevry, which reads like a Russian villain’s name but is actually a company that helps businesses transform in the cloud, has one-upped Rackspace with SIX designations. 
• Slalom, which makes anyone sound drunk when they say the name, has expanded its collaboration with AWS. They are developing vertical solutions for several industries. 
• AWS and Accenture are working on Velocity, a service that reduces the complexity of building apps in the cloud and “optimizes business outcomes by 50%.”  
• Security and compliance automation platform Drata is now part of the AWS ISV Accelerate Program. And feature management platform LaunchDarkly has achieved AWS DevOps Competency and “is set to become the first FedRAMP-authorized feature management platform on the market as it delivers its platform to the federal space.” Prosimo is also doing some stuff with AWS. 

Wheelin’ and dealin’ 

• American Family Insurance named AWS as its preferred cloud provider and will use it to complete the company’s digital transformation. “The cloud will allow us to deny coverage for completely reasonable claims much faster,” said the insurance company “We are super jazzed about it.” 
• SymphonyAI, not to be confused with StabilityAI (again, please fight each other) has expanded its collaboration with Microsoft to further develop a product that detects and prevents financial crimes.  

World domination 

• Snowflake is now available on Azure in the UK. There is a growing demand for cloud-based data analytics solutions because everyone in English IT is getting crumpet crumbs all over their keyboards and they can’t analyze good. 
• Leave some crumpets for the folks at the London Stock Exchange, who will Microsoft Azure, AI, and Teams in a $2.8B deal. 
• My Emerald Isle people are helping Microsoft go green—the company purchased a large amount of wind and solar to power data centers in Ireland. As they say, Tús maith leath na hoibre. 
• Have you ever had a four-way? The Pentagon has, now that it’s splitting a $9B cloud contract among Google, AWS, Oracle, and Microsoft. I appreciate your open-mindedness Pentagon, just make sure no hearts get hurt. 
• Germany is neining Microsoft 365. The country’s regulatory body, The German Datenschutzkonferenz, which you should say five times really fast and see what comes out, says users can’t possibly be compliant with data privacy regulations while using the system. And no amount of Hefeweizen and strudel is going to fix the fact that Microsoft “does not fulfill the most basic requirements of GDPR.” 

Gossip (for nerds) 

• All I ever wanted in my life was to watch more advertisements, particularly ones like the new Lindsay Lohan Pepsi commercial where she tells us all to put milk in our soda. Looks like Microsoft can help, now that it’s planning to double the size of its ad business to $20B. 
• Just as Microsoft’s Activision Blizzard deal seemed like it would be a go in the U.S., the government was like PSYCH!!! The FTC has sued to block the deal.  
• To make things even worse, the tech giant is ready to make concessions to EU regulators so the deal goes through over there. And it’s offered Sony a 10-year contract for Call of Duty. 
• This could be so financially damaging to MSFT that stockholders are wondering if they should bail. But analysts still say Microsoft stock is a buy, even if the deal doesn’t go through. Because when has the stock market ever reflected what’s going on in real life? Those pinstripes don’t live on these streets!  
• A Microsoft VP for the Business Applications group is moving to the company’s Azure + Industry department. Taking her place is a guy who now has two jobs, since he is also still leading marketing for Modern Work. Ain’t that the truth. 

New stuff  

• Microsoft is publicly previewing Role-Based Access for applications in Exchange Online. 
• AWS released updates to AWS Marketplace that will “make it easier and simpler to procure” solutions in the store, which include services such as them just taking your wallet out of your pocket for you. 
• AWS launched AWS Application Composer, a low-code tool for building serverless applications that are deployable in a few clicks. 
• AWS is espousing ethical AI, which is increasingly sounding like an oxymoron rather than a potential reality. The cloud provider’s AI Service Cards aim to provide transparency and responsible use of AI, documenting things like gender and race biases in AI outputs. The ethical AI won’t fight the other AIs like I want because fighting is not nice. 
• AWS has launched a biggie: Amazon Omics for precision medicine. The cloud giant has been pushing its involvement in precision medicine and genomics, and this has the potential to support breakthrough cancer treatment research and other medical advances. 
• Amazon Connect is getting new ML capabilities, like forecasting, capacity planning, and scheduling features. 
• Accessibility news: It is now easier for people who are deaf or hard of hearing to use Microsoft Teams.  

Ma’am, I’m going to have to call security 

• In a recent research report on hacks, Microsoft warns that password attacks have seen a huge rise and is strongly recommending using password encryptors. Hopefully, they’ll never be able to crack my favorite password, ourlastchancewasberniesandersnowwearealscrewedtheresnothingyoucandoheressomewine1! 
• Another inroad that hackers now favor is Telegram. In a blog, Microsoft says that a hacking group is targeting Telegram users by asking for feedback on crypto fee structures, then sending a malicious Excel doc for them to peruse. Wait, a scam associated with crypto?? No, this can’t be real. I refuse to believe such outlandish nonsense.